It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
