i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
