So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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