I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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