so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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