last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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