I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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