What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
