I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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