Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Randomize
