Fine. I'll sleep in my office
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
