I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Duck Duck Cougar?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
