Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
