I wanna passion pit in your ass
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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