Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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