can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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