of course. lets lasso hookers.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
