Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
