One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
