she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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