Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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