Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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