It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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