I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
