I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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