dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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