we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
