Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
