first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
