how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
