i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
