It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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