Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
