where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
