question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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