So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
