Porn is love you can see.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
