I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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