I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
