sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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