whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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