WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
