I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
