And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
