im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
