I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
