I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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