So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
