you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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