my soul wont recognize me after tonight
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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