i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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