please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
