the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
