You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
